Monday, September 14, 2009

An experiment

I'm going to try something new this week.

It's going to be a challenge.

I'm interested to see how things go.

I'm going to attempt to stop COMPLAINING, both out loud and in my head...

...about the never-ending, labor-intensive, exhausting, mundane aspects of being a full-time mother.

This post isn't so much about how taxing it is to be a mom ('cause, come on, duh!), or a tirade against my husband ('cause he's as good as they get), it's more an awakening inside of me, a shift in perspective, a change of attitude. From the very beginning, I expected Taber to share the burden and blessing of having twins. But, it feels like I've been fighting these past three years to make sure the work load has been fair and to make sure I'm not doing more of it than I should be. How exhausting it has been to keep score. I'm done.

I think I'm finally coming to terms with giving my whole self over to being a mother - cleaning up the same mess multiple times a day (and not complaining about it), losing precious sleep to soothe a crying child (and not complaining about it), performing the bedtime rituals for two three year olds solo (and not complaining about it) - get the idea? And not just not complaining about it, but also not punishing others with my own self-pity. I'm going to do all that I can for anyone I can for as long as I am physically able. And I'm going to be cheerful and happy to do it. I'm going to give 100% and stop worrying about how much everyone else is giving. How liberating! I feel my heart expanding as I write this.

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"I promise you that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make."
president gordon b hinckley